Wisdom Wednesday #6 - The Art of Saying "No"

You find yourself overwhelmed with all the responsibilities you promised others you would fulfill. Though you are approaching your absolute limit, someone asks you another favor, which you feel obliged to say “yes” to. So, you do. Immediately, you feel an immense wave of regret surging through your body. Maybe it’s because you took on that extra task or vowed to plans you did not want to truly make. We have all been there, and most of us struggle to say “no” even when our gut is begging for us to take a step back.

Truthfully, with every “yes,” we say “no” to something else: our focus, mental well-being, and peace of mind. This week, I want to emphasize how powerful it is to prioritize yourself and say “no”—not as a way of rejection, but as a way of honoring ourselves and what we can handle.

Despite what many of us think, saying “no” is not inherently negative or selfish. Rejection is a form of self-care and respect. Understanding that saying “yes” to every task drains our energy and loses our focus on what truly matters to us is vital to staying in control of our lives. It also serves as a form of respect to others. When we say “yes” to something we are unsure we can fully commit to, we risk falling short and disappointing them later on. Being upfront and honest about our feelings sets clear expectations and could prevent letting others down. In a way, saying “no” is a commitment to integrity—it shows respect for their energy, time, and trust.

Sometimes, this short yet powerful word is exactly what we need. Our capacity is like a curious child pulling on a rubber band—each extra commitment or overwhelming task stretching us even further. With more and more pressure, the child keeps pulling until the rubber band thins and eventually snaps. The same is true for us: when we take on too much, we’re pushed to our limits until we eventually break and burn out.

I experienced this very situation today. Yesterday, I spontaneously decided to registered for the American Mathematics Competition 12A, which started at 12 PM. However, during this time, I had my AP Economics class, and right before the competition, I had my lunch period. During my lunch, I had a Relay for Life meeting where I was decorating an information board. These factors combined left me with only five minutes to eat, which made me feel uneasy and rushed right before the test. I had to juggle all these responsibilities while also figuring out when and how to make up my economics work. Retrospectively, I realize that it would have been wiser to use my lunch period for stress relief and a relaxed meal instead of running around campus to fulfill a commitment I could have said “no” to. I had a team that I could have trusted to complete the task, yet I felt the need to attend.

This all stemmed from the guilt of disappointing others. I, along with many others, feel obliged to push past our limits to avoid letting people down. I failed to realize that I should be the priority in my life, and that I need to respect what I could handle. Saying “no” is the perfect way to ensure you have the energy and time to be fully present and attentive when you feel comfortable saying “yes.”

I know that saying “no” can be difficult. The following examples are great alternatives to this rejective phrase while avoiding being too blunt or burning bridges:

• You can offer alternative ways to help, such as saying “I can’t do ____ right now, but here’s what I feel ready to do.”

• You can use gentle yet straightforward responses such as “I appreciate the invite, but I have to pass this time.”

• You can encourage honesty and authenticity by saying something like “Thank you for thinking of me, but I need to focus on other priorities right now.”

Ultimately, saying “no” is provides more than just rejecting others. It is a way to accept yourself and learning when to step back to forward with your own intention and balance. Thank you for reading this week’s edition of Wisdom Wednesday. Peace and love.

- Jaime Paladi, Public Relations
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